“My colleagues consider me a calm, collected, thoughtful man. Calm, certainly; but often during the day my head begins to rage, with the dull roar of a crematorium.
I talk, I hold conversations, I make decisions, just like everyone else; but standing at a bar with my glass of Cognac, I imagine a man coming in with a shotgun and opening fire; at the movies or at the theater, I picture a live grenade rolling under the seats; in a town square on a public holiday I see a car packed with explosions blowing up, the afternoon festivities turned into carnage, blood filling the cracks between the cobblestones, gobbets of flesh splattered on the walls or smashing through the windows to land in the Sunday soup, I hear cries, the groans of people with their limbs torn off like the legs of an insect plucked by a curious little boy, the bewilderment of the survivors, a strange, earsplitting silence, the beginning of a long fear.
Calm? Yes, I remain calm, whatever happens, I don’t let anything show, I stay quiet, impassive, like the empty windows of burned-out cities, like the faces of the drowned just beneath the surface of the water, never to be found.
I couldn’t break this terrifying calm even if I wanted to.
I’m not the sort of man who loses his nerve at the drop of a hat, I know how to behave.
But it weighs on me too.”—Jonathan Littell - The Kindly Ones
“I invite you to continue on your own, until the ground opens up beneath your feet.
As for me, no need: for a long time already the thought of death has been closer to me than the vein in my neck, as that beautiful phrase in the Koran says.
If you ever managed to make me cry, my tears would sear your face.”—
“If you were born in a country or a time not only when nobody comes to kill your wife and your children, but also nobody comes to ask you to kill the wives and children of others, then render thanks to God and go in peace.
But always keep this thought in mind: you might be luckier than I, but you’re not a better person.”—
“Eckhart has written,
An angel in Hell flies in his own little cloud of paradise.
I always took that to imply that a devil in Paradise flies in his own little cloud of Hell.
But I don’t think I’m a devil.”—jonathan littell the kindly ones
“But Clark Kent was more than the ul;timate nerd fantasy; everyone could identify with him. We’ve all felt clumsy and misunderstood, once or twice, or more often, in our lives. Just as everyone suspects the existance of an inner Superman — an angelic, perfect self who personifies only our best moods and deeds — there is something of Clark in all of us.”—Supergods